Wednesday, May 30, 2007

The moral maze

Played footy for the first time in ages last night - I have alluded to this on the Nottingham Forest Blog. I love having a kickabout, we hire a five-a-side pitch and we split into two teams for an hour or so. It is more like playground football than anything else, obviously you want your team to win, but at the end everyone shakes hands, and it doesn't really matter which team wins or loses.

Yesterday was different. One player on my team, RS, has a reputation for fouling. I don't think he does it deliberately, but he is probably one of those "win at all costs" types. Over the couple of months that he has been playing, a little bit of ill-feeling had obviously built up amongst those who played against him. I actually agree that he is out of order sometimes, and needs a quiet word - we all want to stay friends, after all.

Fairly late on, I went in goal for a bit. Goalie is my best position in five-a-side (it is one of the rare occasions where being a shortarse doesn't hinder your chances of stopping the shots), and I like to try and be vocal when I'm in goal. The other team had two great players, MT and NX, but both of them are fairly right-footed. So when I told the defender in front of me to "put him on his left foot", I thought that I was doing my duty in helping defend our goal.

Unfortunately, NX went what I can only describe as mental, raising his arms and complaining about the attitude of our team. Even though it was my comment that triggered his response, and he was complaining about me, it seemed to be directed at others. It is worth noting that NX had been on the receiving end of some of RS' more robust challenges. NX then picked up his stuff and walked off, and the rest of us had a discussion in which we all decided that we need to take it easy if we are going to enjoy it - we are a very mixed-ability group (I personally am rubbish at five-a-side!), so we need to respect the fact that it is never going to be that serious a game.

Or at least, that is what everyone tried to say - however, different people have different ways of expressing things, so it ended with someone telling RS that he needs to cool down on the pitch, only to get called a "psycho" in response.

My question to you, dear reader, is do I need to apologise to NX? It was my comment that set him off. I feel that it was a football comment, but maybe he misinterpreted me as telling the defender to kick his left foot? My instinct is to say, "I am sorry if I offended you, but I also hope you realise that there was nothing personal in what I said"; I don't know NX very well at all, so I certainly don't want to fall out with him.

As for the rest: well I am not convinced that I want to keep playing football if there is going to be continued bad feeling, and I must say that it is largely down to people's inability to concede that other people can sometimes be right. I just want to enjoy it, and if I don't enjoy it anymore, then what is the point?

UPDATE (13th June): I emailed NX a day or so after writing this - he apologised for flying off the handle but also insisted that it was nothing to do with me. Due to work commitments, I couldn't play footy for the last couple of weeks, I may be getting "back on the horse" next week...

2 Comments:

At May 30, 2007 11:26 am , Blogger Mohan said...

You definitely were not in the wrong, as it was a general comment designed to help defend the goal. However, I think your inclination to say something to diffuse the situation is a good one. I think if anything, NX will appreciate it, and I am sure he would be receptive. Sounds like RS is the main catalyst, and I think everybody needs to just get back to basics and enjoy a kick about for the sake of it rather than get bogged down with silly issues like winning and losing.

 
At June 03, 2007 10:15 am , Blogger Unknown said...

Rish passions run high on the feild of play, even with something as nondescript as a five-a-side kickabout. I used to work with George Ndah's two brothers, and organised a few five-a-sides (even entered a tournament). As you can imagine, with two ex-pros, a couple of "could-have-beens" and a bunch of pretty useless amateurs, it could get a bit silly sometimes, but at the end of the day (to coin a classic phrase) we all enjoyed playing and any animosity was all forgotten the next day.

But if you feel that apologising for your minor part in an incident wil help you the others (and yourself) to feel better, then do so. Just don't feel you have to or that you are at fault.

 

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